The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice and Oppresion

What memory do you have of an incident when you experienced bias, prejudice and/or oppression, or witnessed someone else as a target of bias, prejudice, and/or oppression?

 The incident I had experienced involved my cousin, who is African American.  Her family was visiting from Maryland, and one day we decided to run to the local convient mart.  My uncle gave us some money to get snacks before we watched a movie.  My cousin is 2 years younger than I am.  At the time I was 10 years old, and she was 8.  The conveient mart is less than 2 blocks away from my house so it was not unheard of for us to walk there.

We skipped the whole way there, talking about the treats we were going to get.  We also had to remember that my uncle wanted a bag of pretzels and a Dr. Pepper.  We entered into the convient mart and spilt our ways to get the treats we want.  I had a candy bar, a yoohoo and I was looking at chips when I saw the manager, Phil, go over to her.

I walked over wondering what he was doing.  He asked her "Hi, where is your daddy?"  She said he was down the house and she was getting snacks for the movie.  He then said. "You need to have your daddy here with you to buy some of this stuff."
In her had was a Dr. Pepper, Mountain Dew, bag of gummy worms and a snickers.  I didnt know what she needed parental permission for, but the took the items away.  I put my stuff down and asked him what was wrong.  He said that she was too young to be shopping alone and needed an adult.  I told him that she was with me, and he said that I was old enough.  I told him she had the money and that I would leave with her.  I put my stuff down and left.   We stopped at the grocery store instead, where they took our money and business no problem.

In what ways did specific bias, prejudice, and/or oppression in that incident diminish equity?

While it was portrayed by the manager as ageism, it was complete racism.  I have been stopping at this store by myself since I was probably 7.  I was on my walk home from school, i would stop and buy some candy with leftover lunch money.  I had many encounters with him previous to this experience and never had an issue.  He always served me with a smile, and never asked me questions.

He could argue that he never gave me a problem because he knew my father, he worked at the news stand that was a bit further down the road. (Too far for us to walk that young, or else we would have went there.)

What feelings did this incident bring up for you?

This incident made me very angry, and confused.  I did not understand at the time what was going on, and I was worried me did something wrong.  We did not tell my uncle, or anyone in the family about it.  We also never talked about it.   I wonder now if she understood what was happening better than I did.

What and/or who would have to change in order to turn this incident into an opportunity for greater equity?

The manager would have to change his ways, and he could have done something different.  He did not need to approach the young girl and insist she leave and get her father.  He could have just waited and watched if he was that concerned, ask if she needed help.

I do not know what he thought an 8 year old was capable of, but it was obviously more important than getting business.